


Vicissitude

by berrybliss



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Blind!Akashi, M/M, Most characters are only mentioned, inspired by the vocaloid song "the name of the sin", no one dies I swear, pure fiction because what even is this plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 15:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9498095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrybliss/pseuds/berrybliss
Summary: Taking a leap of faith leads Akashi and Kuroko to find out that the end to something is the beginning of another.





	

* * *

  
When Kuroko Tetsuya is first born, he is the personification of a boundless sky, carrying with him a bright future of never-ending promise. His eyes are the depth of the sea, curious and wandering.

  
He is Fate’s child, one of thousands in a vibrant world of rhythmical heartbeats. Fate watches over her children, because they essentially owe their existence to her, and she is their mother. This, of course, leads her to think that she can do what she wants.

  
So Fate develops an idea, because the child is beautiful, too promising- something that should not be. The boy is beautiful at heart, different from most of her children. She loves the child too much, and she fears that it is unfair.

  
_“I’ll cast a spell on you.”_

  
She smiles down on him, and that’s when everything begins to fall apart.

* * *

  
**_i. the wish_**

* * *

  
When he wakes up, it’s always the same.

  
He is alone, or at least, as alone as could be. From early on, his parents had chosen to forget about him entirely. When he comes home from school, one of them is present (it is impossible to tell which one exactly, because it changes a lot, although his dad is home more often on Wednesdays and Fridays, his mother on Mondays and Sundays). Even if he disappears for three nights, they do not care less. (Do they even notice?)(They do, because they cannot bear to sit on the same table as him, and one seat is always bare.)  
The trips to the grocery are torture. There are children in carts, happily talking with their parents, and these parents drive their children away from him, because _they can’t come near him_ , and he’s a walking bringer of disaster. Kuroko has become uncomfortable about going outside in general.

  
He does his homework at secluded corners of the public library. These trips are usually short. He borrows some books, and the librarian is actually quite nice, though it’s out of pity more than anything.

  
Tetsuya is a stranger to the people in his home, a spectre whose existence marrs the perfect image of a once perfect family.

  
He has lived with this fact for twelve years. The ache in his chest has dulled, but it is still there, and sometimes, it cuts as sharp as a knife.

  
When he’s not at home, he cries.

  
He is liberated to cry when he is not at home, because every time he comes home, the words on the tip of his tongue are always an apology, something he feels he owes them.

  
But always, always, he will be haunted by the looks on their faces, even if he is not in their presence. Not just his parents, but also that of his schoolmates, and sometimes, the random passer-by on the street. He’d much rather be home-schooled, but he needs school credentials to scrape by in the future.

  
Anyone who takes notice of him plagues him, really, because they look at him like something is not right - like they want to fix him somehow. His dreams take form in shadows, and these shadows, they tell him things. These shadows are the inner voice in his head. Fighting is hard. It’s tiring, and he’s drained in mind and body. Even getting up from the bed in the morning is hard when the world frowns upon you.

  
Still, life goes on for everyone. It does not matter that Tetsuya feels alienated - like he shouldn’t exist, because the thing is, he already does.

  
It’s always the same. In the eyes of others, he is still something that should not be, and the sad thing is he’s starting to believe it too.

* * *

  
His first friend had been from the fifth grade.

  
Ogiwara Shigehiro was kind-hearted, his actions not out of pity but of an actual want to get to know him better. It was something Kuroko had never found in a person before Ogiwara.

  
Kuroko thanked Ogiwara for existing.

  
But Kuroko’s life could not revolve around Ogiwara. This is proven true by the time Ogiwara has to move away.

  
They send letters to each other, of course, but one day, the letters just stop coming altogether. All contact is then cut off.

  
(He thinks of the frightened looks the parents give him in the grocery, their hands on their children’s shoulders, urging them to not look, to not go near him, and to _stay away-_ )

Kuroko never sees Ogiwara again.

  
The world of his childhood is a far and distant dream now. It almost always turned out well for the people in the stories Kuroko had read back then, stories of people who were just like him. Flawed. Scarred. He sees himself in the mirror, and knows what people see. Ogiwara has told him what he sees, when Kuroko begged for the truth - he had been told on another day spent in the swings sets of the local playground - a mutilated face and a battered body, sallow and broken and not a right fit for this radiant world of beauty. There is beauty in everything, even in normalcy, and he has no place among them.

  
What Tetsuya sees when he stares at the mirror is his reflection - dull grey eyes and crowning him a matt of stark, white hair, so unlike the shades of black and brown one sees on the streets. [1]

  
Only he knows the truth.

  
(They say there are those who are cursed by Fate.)

  
The people around him only believe what they see, and what they see terrifies them. He cannot blame them. It is irreversible at this point, and Tetsuya has finally come to terms with it.

  
Still, nothing changes the fact that he wants to feel wanted for once, because it’s hard to be alone in a world where there are so many who wander and are found all the same.

* * *

  
So he prays.

  
He prays to a god that may not even exist.

  
What reason did this god have to grant the wish of a ghost of a child?

  
Of a person who was crafted from a different mould, a mark that the world wished to be rid of?

  
(Is it okay for me to want a friend ~~even if I might not even deserve it?)~~

 

_~~(Please don’t give up on me.)~~ _

 

The days are long, but the nights are always longer.

* * *

  
**_ii. the answer_**

* * *

  
Tetsuya is quiet, always quiet. A boy of fourteen, he does not tell his parents that he is cornered into alleyways and beaten. Revolting, he hears them say.

  
His scars say more than words ever could.

  
But maybe, just maybe, he wants to say that he too, hurts. That he too, feels sadness and remorse and that he is human just like them.

  
At some point, the beating stops. They’ve grown tired of him, just like everyone else has.

* * *

  
It’s just another day in his second year in middle school when he meets Akashi Seijuro, or rather, talks to him for the first time.

  
Teikou’s backyard is a private haven. It remains undisturbed for the most part. There are no benches, only nature and sometimes, chirping birds. Tetsuya is most at peace when he is there during lunch break - he doesn’t have a big appetite, and it’s usually where he reads when not in Teikou’s library.

  
Akashi’s hair colour is a vibrant red. It reminds Tetsuya of the hibiscus flower, or perhaps maybe, just maybe, of red roses. One of his eyes is the colour of liquid gold, while the other is red, and for a moment, they stare straight at Tetsuya. Tetsuya’s heart thuds in his chest.

  
The redhead is standing not too far away from Tetsuya, but seems to take no notice of him. It is only when Tetsuya squints that he sees what’s wrong.

  
No light enters Akashi’s eyes as his fingertips brush through the rosebush nearest to him. The only indication that he has recognized the rose as a rose is the slight dilation of his pupils when his fingers feel the texture of petals. It explains why he hasn’t backed away in disgust from Tetsuya.

  
It lasts about five seconds, Akashi just staying in his spot touching the rose. His fingers move down to the thorns, and squeeze.

  
Tetsuya watches as blood drips down Akashi’s hands. Akashi does something as if to raise it for inspection, but his hand falls to his side instead.

  
Quelling his own uneasiness, Tetsuya rushes over to Akashi’s side.

  
“Akashi-san, I’m sorry for casually approaching you like this but... your hand. It’s bleeding.”

  
Akashi’s head turns to face him, and he looks at him, hard, but rather than hostility, Tetsuya is met with curiosity and contemplation.

  
Tetsuya struggles with the words as he continues. “I... I have bandages, if it could help.” He’s already taking them out of his shirt pocket, when Akashi reaches for his wrist and grabs for it. Kuroko jerks in surprise, dropping the book he’s holding.

   
“I didn’t mean to overwhelm you,” Akashi says, releasing his grip on Tetsuya’s hand. “I apologize.”

  
Tetsuya’s cheeks heat up. “No... it’s fine. Your hand, it needs tending to-“

  
But Akashi is already wiping his hand with a handkerchief stitched with gold embroidery. Quickly, the cloth is dyed red with blood. “I will be fine. Thank you for your concern.” Akashi seems to know what is running through Tetsuya’s mind, because he says, “The scars are not bad enough to cause an infection.”

  
Akashi picks up the book - he knows where it is from the sound of the drop - and hands it to Tetsuya.

  
“Thank you.” Tetsuya takes it into his hand, clutching it to his chest, “Why... why did you do it, Akashi-san? Knowing your hands would bleed...”

  
“That’s not important.” Akashi shakes his head. Tetsuya does not want to pry too much, because Akashi does not seem to be too comfortable about it, even with the ease with which he carries himself. “And I would request not calling me that.” [2]

  
“I’m sorry. 'Akashi-kun', then...?” Kuroko amends.

  
“Your voice is one I haven’t heard before. Do you always come here?”

  
“Yes,” Kuroko replies, “But I... if you want, I could leave-“

  
“That won’t be necessary.” Akashi cuts in. His tone is gentle when he speaks again. “I’m Seijuro, and you are...?”

  
“Tetsuya.” His voice leaves him, because _surely he knows,_ “Kuroko Tetsuya.”

 

“Was I interrupting your lunch, Tetsuya?” Akashi asks pleasantly. Tetsuya is relieved that Akashi does not know, or at least, has shown no sign of knowing.

 

“No, not at all, but I think I’m interrupting yours...”

  
“You aren’t, and if that’s the case, I really wouldn’t mind.” Akashi lets out a low chuckle, and it’s a lovely sound. “Do you mind if I come eat lunch here from now on, Tetsuya? I’m not sure how to put this... but I’d prefer your company over the people I usually surround myself with.”

  
Kuroko’s eyes widen slightly. “I wouldn’t mind at all.”

  
Before Akashi can say more, his phone rings. When he picks it up, Tetsuya only observes.

  
“Father, yes, I- no, I don’t have any other appointments for the afternoon... I understand. I will meet with him at the gate... Goodbye.”

  
Hanging up, Akashi smiles apologetically. “I have to go now. I’ll see you around, Tetsuya. It was nice meeting you.”

 

“You too, Akashi-kun.”

  
When Akashi leaves, the warmth is still there in Tetsuya’s chest. He takes a deep shaky breath, and the rest of the lunch break is spent thinking and worrying about Akashi - they’re not friends just yet, and it’s all too good to be true.

  
The shadows whisper to him again, but something makes him feel like it’s going to be alright.

* * *

 

It becomes a routine, with Akashi occasionally dropping by to visit. The garden has become a permanent meeting spot of sorts for them, even if, often, Akashi finds himself having other pressing engagements that require his devotion and time. There is no precise pattern to Akashi’s activities, but there are times when he brings over his student council paperwork to the garden, with Tetsuya reading out to him. They engage in light conversation too, but Tetsuya never quite feels like he is even beginning to scrape the surface of the deep ocean that is Akashi Seijuro.

  
Then again, it’s not as if he’s the most open person on earth either. Still, the things they confide to each other increase over time.

  
Benches are installed, the donation of the Akashi family to the school (although even if they say ‘courtesy of the Akashi family’, it’s really just Seijuro). They are convenient, and the place is always undisturbed - now, autumn has started. The seasons change quickly - summer vacation goes by in a blink for Tetsuya too. Akashi, on a lighter note, asks how his vacation went.

  
“I stayed home,” Tetsuya says, and it’s not entirely a lie. He gulps, “My parents are away a lot, and someone has to stay at the house.”

  
Akashi glances at him. “You do not have any siblings?” He does not sound surprised by this fact, and regards it simply as what it is, so Kuroko replies that no, he does not have siblings. The affirmation of it makes Akashi nod in contemplative silence.

  
Tetsuya wonders what it would have been like if he had a sibling - it’s hard to say. He ends up concluding that he would still feel as alone as he did now if he ever ended up having one. The idea only fills him with dread at the pit of his stomach.

  
“What were you like as a child, Akashi-kun?”

  
Akashi meets the question with mild interest. Tetsuya knows that Akashi is an only child, brought up under a strict upbringing, but he’d rather like to hear about it from Akashi himself. Akashi is not at ease when his father is mentioned, but the question hardly fazes him at all.  
  
Leaves fall around them, and there is a certain weariness to Akashi’s expression when one of the leaves falls into his palm. He closes his hand and grabs hold of it - tightly, like a memory lost in time.

  
“Being an heir comes with many responsibilities. I say ‘comes’ because I still am my father’s only heir, though not exactly the heir he wanted. He has made this quite clear.” He smiles wistfully, “Akashis are born into a world of opulence and filth. It is both a curse and a blessing. There had been a happier time in life when my mother was still among the living, but she has long since departed. I still hear her laughter sometimes, and the lullabies she would sing to me out of my request.”

  
Akashi opens his hand, and lets go, the leaf then swept by a passing breeze. Tetsuya watches, listens, as Akashi continues.

  
“So yes, to answer your question, I was a very demanding child, a child who had everything but sight. It wasn’t hard to learn that there would always be more to lose.”

  
Tetsuya wants to get closer to Akashi, but perhaps he has no right. It is not a matter of simple consolation, but it is a deeply rooted struggle, an impactful loss. Kuroko does not pretend to understand this, but his heart aches for Akashi, and maybe, that will be enough?

  
“Akashi-kun is Akashi-kun, no matter what.”

  
Akashi sets down his chopsticks. He seems genuinely surprised at this bit, and with a serene firmness, he reaches for Tetsuya’s hand and gently places his hand over his. There are words there, Akashi finds, in things that are felt - things beyond sight.

  
“Thank you, Tetsuya. That means a lot to me.”

  
Happiness suits Akashi, Tetsuya thinks, and he is beautiful in any form Tetsuya sees. Tetsuya does not back away from his touch, because it is so willingly given, and it is a touch of new doors being opened, shedding light to Tetsuya’s world.

  
“If I had a little brother, I’d want him to be just like you.”

  
Tetsuya feels inexplicable happiness hearing this. “That means a lot to me, Akashi-kun-“

  
But Akashi stops him, hushes him gently. Their hands have severed, but the warmth of Akashi’s touch lingers.

  
“Seijuro,” he says to Tetsuya, “Call me by my given name. Call me Seijuro.”

  
Tetsuya has never felt so comfortable with someone. At that moment, when Akashi expresses his gratitude to him, he only hopes that Akashi feels the same way about him too.

  
(No one has ever made him feel like this before.)

* * *

  
Math finals find Akashi at Tetsuya’s home.

  
“Thank you for finding the time to go all the way and tutor me, Akashi-kun.” Tetsuya taps the paper with his pen, and marvels at the notebook in front of him. “I really, really appreciate it.” It’s no longer empty, and the math problems are solved. Everything starts making sense, and Akashi is there, calmly taking it all in.

  
Is that victory on his face?

  
“There’s no need to thank me, Tetsuya. You’re a very hardworking student.” Akashi looks proud, and he has every right to be, considering at the start of this session, Tetsuya could barely make sense out of the equations. Geometry has always been something of a nightmare to Tetsuya, ever since it was introduced back in the third grade of elementary school. It just got worse from there.

  
Tetsuya sees Akashi’s notes up close. They are printed in Braille, and he wonders how taxing it must be to read by touch. The questions are all pre-solved material provided by Akashi, and Akashi has so formidable a prowess in Math that the subject is probably one he’d breeze through.

  
“Hm.” Akashi flexes his arms. “I think we deserve a break.”

  
“Do you want a drink, Akashi-kun?”

  
“No, thank you. I’m fine. Although I must say, does trying to call me by my given name give you discomfort, Tetsuya?”

  
“Not in the way you think.” Tetsuya replies, “I just... prefer calling you Akashi-kun, in a sense, and... it sounds weird.”

  
Akashi bobs his head to the side questioningly. “What sounds weird?”

  
“I mean... it sounds weird. Every time I try to call you Sei.”

  
“On the contrary,” Akashi then says, crossing his arms, “I quite like the sound of it.”

  
They laugh together, happy with each other’s company. Tetsuya’s heart paces when their fingers brush briefly against each other. He tries not to think about after high school - or maybe even middle school, because there’s the possibility of Akashi not attending Teikou for high school at all. It’s all an unanswered question - does Akashi think about these things while with him too? Perhaps it’s too soon to ask.

  
They are friends, and the line is drawn there.

  
(Tetsuya remembers a line he’s encountered several times in books. “Humans are greedy creatures”, the line says, and it connects him to the experiences of others. It’s a fact that ever since Akashi came, there have been a lot of firsts in Tetsuya’s life.)

* * *

  
_And so, at age fourteen, Kuroko Tetsuya realizes that he has started to fall in love._

* * *

  
**_iii. falling_**

* * *

  
Tetsuya is a welcome surprise in Seijuro’s life.

  
In fact, it is safe to say that Tetsuya is the first person Seijuro can actually call a friend. Tetsuya is reserved but genuine. He makes Seijuro feel like he is himself, more than just a blind heir who has to maintain a reputation and bring honour to his family name. To Seijuro, Tetsuya’s friendship is worth more than all his accolades and trophies combined, because he finds meaning in this companionship they share. He has been taught from a young age to treat connections as if they are things to benefit from, but this is different. It is attachment to something wonderful, something that cannot be bought by all the gold in the world. There is something in this that he does not learn from lessons or tests, evoking emotions that Seijuro has only ever truly felt a few times in his life.

  
_Tetsuya inspires him._

  
_Tetsuya gives him hope._

  
Seijuro thanks Tetsuya for existing.

* * *

  
“What do you want to be when you grow up, Akashi-kun?”

  
It’s a fairly simple question, but Seijuro ponders on it. He is surprised that close to nothing comes to his mind, and that he has not exactly ‘dreamed’ before, being constantly reminded of how he is destined to take over the company.

  
“I would have liked to become a novelist,” he answers sincerely, because he does like literature, and being an avid reader himself, would have liked to write stories that could touch the hearts of others. “It is not far from my reach, but my first choice really is business.”

  
_You mean your father’s first choice_. Seijuro is thankful that Tetsuya does not correct him, but the intent to do so is probably there.  
He allows his mind to wander about, envisioning a life as a creationist rather than as a business mogul. It would be liberating and fulfilling, being surrounded by his ideas, worlds of his own creation. Unfortunately though, there is no room for such fantasies in his life.

  
“The violin was something I genuinely enjoyed as a child. I haven’t gotten the chance to play these days, though, so I must be rusty.”

  
“I would love to hear Akashi-kun play sometime.”

  
“That can certainly be arranged,” Seijuro says, and he hears the sound of Tetsuya whirling his head towards his direction.

  
“Really?” A short pause, “You would do that?”

  
“I don’t see why not,” He finds Tetsuya’s eagerness endearing, although sometimes, Seijuro does wish Tetsuya would be more confident about himself. _He deserves more._ “A special performance just for you, Tetsuya. Yes, I would do that.”

  
How does Tetsuya look right now?

  
(Is he smiling?)

  
(How does he look when he smiles?)

  
The fact that he cannot see Tetsuya’s reaction awakens feelings that he had long since thought were successfully buried. How he really wishes he could just see, because Tetsuya is so close to him and so _real_ , and yet...

  
It’s been so long since he’s felt something this close to frustration.

  
He takes a deep breath, and asks.

  
“What about you, Tetsuya? What do you want to be?”

  
“All my life, I’ve always wanted to be a kindergarten teacher.” Tetsuya starts. “I don’t think I can be one though.” The amount of dejectedness in Tetsuya’s voice stirs something in Seijuro, because Seijuro knows that Tetsuya is not one to give up so easily.

  
“What makes you think that?”

  
“My appearance isn’t exactly the most appropriate for teaching,” Tetsuya says, though it’s more mumbled than anything. Seijuro catches it though, and continues to listen attentively as Tetsuya goes on, “My face alone makes parents in the supermarket pull their kids away from me. And I understand. I understand why they won’t let their kids near me. Even my parents... my own parents...”

Tetsuya’s voice cracks.

  
“I just _know,_ and it’s hard, Akashi-kun, living with knowing that no one will ever truly see past this defect of mine. There’s you of course, and for that I truly am thankful... but you are destined to soar, Akashi-kun. And I can’t tie you down any more than I already have.”

  
When Tetsuya’s voice reduces to a whisper, Seijuro resolutely closes the space between them, and brushes his fingers lightly against Tetsuya’s cheek. “May I?”

Tetsuya gives a small nod, leaning towards him.

  
Seijuro acts like he is presented with a valuable piece of art, handling Tetsuya with care - but Tetsuya is not his to own, unlike the paintings hung in the drawing rooms and the sculptures on display in the corridors of his own home. It strikes him that he wants Tetsuya to be his equal, and that he wants Tetsuya to feel that they are equals too.  
He will never forget the feel of having Tetsuya in his arms, how he’s finally found something to protect, something to cherish. Tetsuya is silent, but they are so close together that Seijuro can feel the warmth of his cheeks.

  
And as much as he wants to know what Tetsuya looks like, it will not matter, in the end - because as cheesy as it sounds, it is all not a matter of sight, but rather, of where his heart lies.

  
“Don’t ever think that you’re tying anyone down, Tetsuya.” Seijuro says, pressing their foreheads together, “I would not trade our friendship for anything else in the world.”

* * *

  
“ _Mother, how did you know that you loved father?”_

  
_He will never forget the way his mother looked that day, her smile more radiant than the sun. His mother looking so sure of herself, a firm figure of guidance promising a bright future ahead of them._

  
_“You just know, Seijuro. You just know.”_

* * *

  
“Seijuro.”

  
When his father calls for him, it’s often for business or academic performance. Considering what month it is now - close to his third year graduation - it is most likely about his choice of school for high school-

  
“Teikou is nothing short of the best, but I want you to consider the other alternatives I have laid out for you.”

  
He clenches his teeth at this, biting back what is perhaps something that has built up over time. It is what he expected, but it still is what it is. This moment is crucial, he knows, because it’s a deciding factor on whether he can stay with Tetsuya.

  
Tetsuya.

  
It has been over a year since he and Tetsuya have become friends. He thinks of him even then, in the presence of his father, because Tetsuya really means that much to him. It almost borders on dependency, but that’s not quite it. It is yearning for something that can make him go on. It is not wanting to see the expression on Tetsuya’s face when his fears become reality, and that the fact that they have to part is realized because it’s too soon, _just too soon_.

  
“I assure you, father, that Teikou will not hinder my chances of getting into other institutions in the future. I do understand your concerns, but I think they should be addressed when I reach the point in life wherein I have to broaden my credentials for work exposure and expertise rather than now.”

  
Masaomi grunts, indifferent, and finally, he looks Seijuro in the eye for the first time since Seijuro has entered his office, and says, “All credentials are important, but I suppose staying in Teikou has its merit. I expect only the best from you in your next three years in school, Seijuro. I raised you to be competent, and,” His gaze is sharp, “Failure will not be tolerated. If I see it fit to transfer you to another school, I will do so without hesitation. Are we clear on that?” His father’s voice is as he remembers it, smooth, hard, without inflection and without warmth.

  
“Yes, father.” This does not faze Seijuro anymore - he has heard the same thing over and over again for the past ten years. It is something he has to live with, the looming figure of his father’s shadow. But rather than fear of slipping up he used to have, there is only the determination to work harder, to prove that he is more than enough for what is ahead.

  
He cannot wait to tell Tetsuya the news.

* * *

  
**_iv. a fork in the road_**

* * *

  
Fate’s pranks begin again when Seijuro tells Tetsuya the news, and Tetsuya does not say anything.

 

“What’s wrong, Tetsuya? You’re silent.”

  
Tetsuya’s arms wrap around him, and it’s an unexpectedly bold thing for Tetsuya to do. He’s trembling, and Seijuro has to ask what’s wrong.

  
“Tetsuya?”

  
“I’m so sorry, Akashi-kun, that I didn’t tell you... but I swear I found out just this morning. My parents, they... plan to move away from here.”

  
...

  
“And they plan to take me with them.”

  
Seijuro’s heart stops, the warmth leaving his body. The frost seems to penetrate through the leather of his shoes when the words register.

  
“Where?”

  
_‘Why now of all times?’_ he wants to ask instead.

  
_Why do your parents suddenly care enough to do this?_

  
“My father has been moved to the main branch of their company in Kyoto. He can’t reject the offer.”

  
Tetsuya buries his head into the crook of his neck.

  
“Forgive me for being so weak.” He says, holding tight to the fabric of Seijuro’s coat, “I know it shouldn’t matter so much, and that we can still meet each other, but I’m scared, Sei. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I-“

  
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me too, Tetsuya.” The words are out before he can stop himself, and the world is dark, so dark and Seijuro feels bitterness and sadness overwhelm him all at once because _they can’t have nice things_. [3]

  
“We’ll figure something out.” He says, wanting to sound convincing for Tetsuya’s sake.

  
Seijuro decides that there is no point in moping, and that he should be rationalizing instead. For now though, he stays by Tetsuya’s side, because that is exactly what Tetsuya needs.

  
So they linger there, together, bracing themselves and at the same time at conflict with the realities of their own worlds.

* * *

  
Seijuro goes to his mother’s grave shortly after, and the driver does not exactly protest to this, because it does not strike as an odd request. If anything, it is a shared sentiment among the staff of the Akashi manor that Seijuro’s visits are of no consequence and should be encouraged, because Seijuro is a solitary figure, and can hardly find any solace in his very own home, because while the young master treats everyone with respect and is kind to the lot of them, there is no one who comes as close to his heart as his late mother.

  
The car stops at the exact same spot it always does. Seijuro tells the driver that he knows the way well enough now, from all the previous visits he had. He gets off of the car, and starts walking. There is only the sound of the wind, and a group of children running past that point of the street.

  
He kneels and feels through the characters of his mother’s name like how one feels the spine of a well-loved book. The cold is familiar to him, and he starts speaking, laying down the bouquet of flowers that he’d bought on the way there.

  
He talks about recent events, small things like how he’s doing at school, but that part is mostly by habit. He realizes that he doesn’t know how to make the conversation more casual, that he doesn’t know how else to talk to his mother other than the way he was raised to talk. Still, his heart warms and his mind feels less turbulent when he starts to talk about Tetsuya.

  
“He’s a dear friend of mine, the very reason I came here. I’m sure you would have loved him, and that he would have loved you too.”

  
_How I wish you were here._

  
“It is mostly whim that has driven me to come here, and it’s very unlike me, I know, but... Tetsuya has changed me, and I feel more human when I am around him. It’s strange. Tetsuya is a strong person, but he’s afraid. He constantly tells me that if I could just see, I’d be repulsed, but I cannot fathom a world where I would be repulsed by Tetsuya. He has lived in a world where he is unloved, and he clearly doesn’t deserve it. Even now, I feel like a part of him is holding back because he feels like he is undeserving of my company... although he calls me Sei now, which I suppose is an improvement.”

  
“I love him very much. Every part of me is sure of it, and it is many forms of love. I love Tetsuya in his entirety, but it is fine for me, what we are now - what are we now, even? Friends? Yes, I suppose we are friends.”

  
Seijuro laughs softly, not really expecting an answer.

  
“I hope you’re happy from where you’re listening, mother, but this is goodbye for now.”

* * *

  
The passage of time doesn’t make it any easier, but it is with renewed resolve that they make the most out of each passing day.

  
It is not the end, they both realize - because Seijuro musters up the courage to ask his father once again about those other alternatives. One of them is a prestigious school in Kyoto - Rakuzan, it’s called - Seijuro doesn’t pass up the chance, and it’s an offer he cannot bear to refuse if it means being with Tetsuya. Masaomi agrees to his transferring of schools, and bargains that if he is to study at Rakuzan, he will have to start becoming even more exposed to entrepreneurial activities seeing as the Akashi Conglomerate’s Kyoto branch is a rather influential one, and is perfect training ground for ‘the heir’.

  
Tetsuya will not be going to Rakuzan, but it’s the best chance they have at staying together.

  
Winter vacation makes Seijuro busy. Despite it being vacation for everyone, he has other lessons and things to attend to. In a way, the numerous business meetings make Seijuro yearn _for_ school. The opportunities to see Tetsuya are limited too, but they do send messages to each other from time to time.

  
Something strange happens though, on one winter day. It’s unbelievable at first, but the reality of it comes crashing down when Akashi actually sees himself in the mirror that morning, and he is unaccustomed to actually knowing with such certainty that there is nothing standing in his way to make him trip.

  
He can see.

  
_His eyes have cleared._

  
But... it is simply impossible, almost surreal. He pinches himself to make sure he is not dreaming, because surely this is only a dream. When he gets confirmation, he runs out of the bathroom is quick to take out his phone and set it on redial.

  
_Even if it’s just for now..._

  
When the person on the receiving end picks up, and a familiar voice reaches Seijuro’s ears, it is only then he realizes that he is shaking from happiness, and he has never felt this alive before.

  
_“Sei, what’s-“_

  
“I want to see you, Tetsuya.”

* * *

  
_Fate smiles down on her children. Her task is done._

* * *

  
**_v. it seems like only yesterday..._**

* * *

  
_What does he mean by that?_

  
Tetsuya wonders. It’s rather early in the morning, and it’s unusual in itself for Seijuro to call so early into the day. In fact, the sun had yet to rise.

  
“You sure have a lot of free time today, Sei.” Tetsuya chuckles, trying to not let his nervousness get to him. ”Is everything okay? Did something happen?”

  
_“No,”_ Seijuro replies, _“It’s...I’m sorry for alarming you, Tetsuya, but there is really nothing wrong. In fact, things are more than great. What I mean to say is... I can see now.”_

  
“...Eh?”

  
“ _I understand why you’re confused. Believe me, I am as surprised as you are._ ” He’s talking too fast, and sounds happier than Tetsuya has ever heard him, _“I was overcome with the urge to see you. Do you have time right now?”_

  
How is he supposed to answer?

  
He feels happy for Seijuro, but his fears are reawakened. He trusts Seijuro, but already, his fears are overtaking him. The voices come back. He can already imagine rejection contorting Seijuro’s features. Images flash into his mind, of being cornered and feeling so alone and isolated because he is different and maimed and imperfect-

  
And yet...

  
Despite all this, Seijuro has stayed.

  
He closes his eyes.

  
“I need a little more time, Sei. But I... I will meet with you. Tonight.”

  
_“Alright.”_ Seijuro’s excitement seems to have tempered down, but he still sounds happy, _“Is 9:00 an okay time for you?”_

  
“Yes. Swing sets at Showa Memorial, as always.” Tetsuya finds himself smiling a bit too, his fears lessening just by the sound of Seijuro’s voice, “I’ll see you there, Sei.” [4]

  
_“I’ll see you too, Tetsuya.”_ And Seijuro’s last words for that call are, “ _Thank you for trusting me.”_

  
The call ends. Tetsuya promises himself to have no regrets... no matter how this turns out.

* * *

 

The hours are long, but it is nothing for Seijuro and Tetsuya compared to the earlier struggle of having had to deal with the daunting possibility of not being able to see each other for, well, what might possibly have been forever.

  
It is behind them now, though, and Tetsuya faithfully waits at the meeting place, his hands gripping the ropes holding the swing in place. He snuggles into his muffler, breath visible in the air, and constantly finds himself looking at the time.

  
Seijuro arrives at 9:15, apologizing for his lateness.

  
Tetsuya grips the ropes tighter, his voice caught in his throat.

  
“You came.” It’s all a bit surreal, still, and this probably stands true for both of them.

  
Seijuro’s expression softens, “Of course I did,” He is still of considerable distance from Tetsuya, observing. Tetsuya sees the light in Seijuro’s eyes, more beautiful than ever, and it takes his breath away. There is something reflected in them that burns even brighter than the stars, and it is nothing like what Tetsuya has seen before, reflected in the eyes of the people around him. He has never known admiration in the eyes of another, and he stays still as Akashi’s every step draws closer to his heart.

  
“You will always be beautiful to me, Tetsuya.” Seijuro says breathlessly. They seem to be standing at the edge of something, and it is then that they realize that they’ve uplifted each other far higher than anyone else has ever had.

  
Seijuro is close, and he feels through Tetsuya’s stark white hair, still speaking.

  
“Sei, your hands... they’re shaking.”

  
“I’ve dreamed of this moment for so many nights.” Seijuro says, small snowflakes on the red lashes framing his face, “But none of them quite match up to this. This isn’t a dream, truly?”

  
“Yes,” Tetsuya raises his hand, and touches Seijuro’s cheek, “It’s not a dream, Sei. We’re here. We’re... really here.” He laughs, and before he knows it, tears are spilling out of his cheeks. Seijuro wipes them away with the back of his hand, and slowly plants his lips on Tetsuya’s forehead.

  
This time, Seijuro gets to see what it’s like when Tetsuya smiles.

  
He gets to see the slight pink tingeing Tetsuya’s cheeks, and it’s definitely not because of the cold.

  
“Tetsuya-“

  
“Sei-“

  
They stare at each other and laugh. “You first, Tetsuya.” Seijuro says.

  
“No, you go first.”

  
“No, it’s really okay-“

  
“I’m really more comfortable with you talking first.”

  
Seijuro, however, doesn’t exactly say anything. He swoops down to kiss Tetsuya, and Tetsuya feels a weight lifted off his shoulders, feeling slightly light headed. Their hands are linked together, and the constant beating of his heart tells Tetsuya something.

  
It tells him that it’s okay to want this, and that Seijuro wants this too.

* * *

Fate declares the spell broken.

  
Tetsuya’s hair turns back to what it once was, the shades of white turning into a light blue hue. His scars disappear, and while the world does not really spare him a glance, he really prefers it this way. Seijuro’s loving gaze, after all, is more than enough.

  
The remaining years of Seijuro and Tetsuya’s life are happy. Their story is one of many existing ones, and like all stories, it has its ups and downs, and is told to those who are cherished by them.

  
A story like theirs is an unexplained miracle, and their search for answers is one that never quite stops.

  
Fate finds in Seijuro and Tetsuya something wonderful that she will never tire of, no matter how many centuries pass. It is what gives deities like her who bear the divine power to tip the scales fulfilment while going through the paradoxical experience that is immortal life.

  
It is the thing that makes life truly worth living... it is love, all existing forms of it.

* * *

 

_"Will you stay with me?"_

_"Yes. A thousand times, yes."_

* * *

  
**-THE END-**

* * *

  
Thank you so much for taking you time to read this! :D *bows* Writing this was experimental, and a really great experience. Hope it made you feel something like it did for me ^^ That ending is up for self-interpretation. ;)

Footnotes

[1]- In the original song, the girl (which in this case is Kuroko) has white hair and this is referred to as something uncommon and in a sense ‘creepy’. In case it wasn’t clear enough, Fate cursed the child (Kuroko) to make him look as scarred and mutilated to others (although in the original song, it was never quite specified what exactly was off about the girl’s appearance). The reason why his hair turns blue is because the spell has worn off, and Akashi has brought ‘colour into his life’, making him feel not as alone as before.

  
[2]- Being referred to as “Akashi-san” reminds Akashi of his father and he’s tired of hearing it. It’s a simple request, but not one he actually makes often.

  
[3]- This is one of the moments wherein it is highlighted that Akashi too has felt frustration over his condition, and that he really can’t help it, because he’s human just like everyone. These moments are actually a bit more frequent when around Tetsuya, but it is not in any way unhealthy. If anything, it is a sign of an expansion of self-thought for Akashi, and only goes to show that he really values Tetsuya as a friend, and later on, as something more. *wiggles eyebrows*

  
[4]- Let’s just assume Shouwa Memorial Park is anywhere near Teikou when it’s probably not //shot. LET’S ALSO ASSUME IT HAS SWING SETS. RIP geography. Yoyogi Park and Shinjuku Park seemed too populated. Then again, Shouwa Memorial is probably full of people too. (I’ve never travelled anywhere and i am so sorry for any geographical inconsistencies). I don’t even know where Teikou is???

  
I hope that cleared some things up. A few thoughts:

  
1) The transition of names in alternating POVs (Akashi to Seijuro) is on purpose. It shows the level of closeness of akkr that has increased over time.

  
2) I got very curious as to how blind people learned geometry. It was a very informative study, and left me REALLY amazed. (As someone who’s bad at geometry, yeah...)  
3) There was supposed to be a kiss at the scene where they found out they would part, but it felt odd and Kuroko was 15 at the time so yeah. (The scene in the snow takes place at around February.)(Please don’t think about when winter vacation is in Japan)(plEAsE)

  
4) ORIGINALLY, the only key event was that Akashi would regain sight. Kuroko and Akashi weren’t supposed to “part ways” because of Kuroko’s family in the original draft. Haha xD Came up with that on the spot and thought “OHHH WICKED”. As you can see, that got solved pretty quickly because it really wasn’t the main conflict.

  
5) The original vocaloid song demanded of me to “clear Akashi’s sight”. If it were up to me, he wouldn’t have regained his eyesight (because people don’t just magically wake up and become not-blind), but Akashi regaining his sight and still accepting Kuroko is the main point of the story like in the original, welp

  
If there are any questions, I would be very happy to answer them. It’s pretty clear that a lot of things went unexplained in this fanfic orz. I would also be happy to discuss any part of the fic with just about anyone at all!

 


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